3 Language and Gender Theories

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•   Dominance Theory-   this is a claim that states that in a dialogue between a man and a woman, the man is more likely to interrupt.  This theory arose from a study carried out by Don Zimmerman and Candace West in which they observed 31 conversations between men and women. Their report showed that 11/31 conversations show men interrupting a total of 46 times whilst women only interrupted during 2/31 conversations. However some people argue (Geoffrey Bettie) interruptions doesn’t have to necessarily mean an assertion of dominance but could be seen as a sign of interest and involvement.

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•   Deborah Tannen and difference- Professor Tannen summarised in an article related to her book ‘’You Just Don’t Understand’’ the six main differences in men and women’s language:

1)      Status vs. Support - For men conversation is seen as a competition and a way to assert their dominance to prevent others from asserting theirs. Women on the other hand conversation is a way to gain approval and support for their ideas.  The world to man is seen as a way of gaining status, whilst women see it as ‘’a network of connections seeking support and consensus.’’ 

2)      Independence vs. Intimacy - Professor Tannen states that women usually think in terms of in closeness and support, whilst men are more concerned with independence and their status. An example that Tannen gives on this is that a woman would ask her husband if they could have a guest over because she likes telling her friends that she has to check with her husband. The man on the other hand would invite the guest without checking with his wife because to do so would mean losing his status.

3)      Advices vs. Understanding - Men often see complaints as challenge and will strive to find a solution but in this scenario all a woman wants is sympathy.

4)      Information vs. Feelings - Men are more concerned with obtaining and giving information whilst women are more likely to talk about emotions.

5)      Orders vs. Proposal - Women tend to use cloaked imperatives, or use indirect imperatives e.g.  ‘’lets’’ ‘’why don’t we?’’ Men on the other hand prefer to hear/ give direct imperatives.

6)      Conflict vs. Compromise- men are more likely to argue and resist things vocally whilst women often concede but complain or try and find a middle ground. 

• Robin Lakoff- during 1975 published ‘Language and a Woman’s Place’ which contains an account of women’s language. In another similar article she wrote assumptions about what marks a woman’s language from a man’s, some of these claims are:

o   Hedge -  women use phrases such as ‘’sort of’’ ‘’kind of’’ ‘’it seems like’’

o   Use super polite forms - ‘’would you mind’’ ‘’I’d appreciate it if’’

o   Use tag questions – ‘’you’re going to dinner aren’t you?’’

o   Avoid coarse language or expletives

o   Use empty adjective e.g. divine, lovely, adorable, cute

o   Use more intensifiers e.g. ‘’so’’ ‘’very’’

o   Use cloaked imperatives – ‘’it’s a bit cold in here isn’t it? ‘’ 

Source: http://www.universalteacher.org.uk/lang/gend